I’ve read all the way to the end (as it stands right now, page 57) and I really enjoy the story. I think it’s a tremendously funny concept, and has the chance to be a really cute romantic comedy. It’ll most likely see a thousand changes before it ever gets close to being a movie, but this being the medium it’s working in right now, I want to do my best to help.

Happy writing Bobby, and great art Eisu!

PS: I don’t think the peeing thing was low brow… In my head, the scene in the movie will be audio more then visual, with Parker screeching. Once the sound is all gone, the audience will realize that there’s still the sound of a person taking a whiz in a bush in the background. Followed by Parker giving the line of “I forgot to stop peeing”. I just think it’s a joke that will be conveyed beautifully in the video medium, and is much, MUCH harder to convey comically in print only.

But I was hugely disappointed that such a key scene happens off screen. It would have been so much more interesting, exciting, and fun, to see the moment where he holds up the sign and Stasia points at him–it could have been intercut with Parker’s view from the bushes. At this point, I as a reader am just as involved in Guy’s point of view as I am in Parker’s–neither of them is more important as a point of view character to me yet–and I’m just as involved with Stasia and her sister. But instead of seeing the big moment–eh, we don’t get to see it, we only get told about it, and the momentum flies out the window. To be absolutely honest? I lost interest in the comic right here. It might not seem like a big thing to some readers, but to others, that sort of “telling not showing” just kills the fun, especially so close to the start of the story.

And… hmm… it could have been a really young priest who might actually have been a fan of Stasia’s music. Or even an older groovy hippie priest. I found it kinda weird that an older, staid-looking priest was there. Maybe he was bringing his kids or some poor waifs from the congregation….

Gosh, that would have been a funny moment to see, too–Stasia asking if there’s a priest in the house, and, like, five or six people saying “I’m a priest!”

I wish I could give the comic unmitigated gushing kudos, because it is a light, fun idea, and, heck, I even love the banner to pieces (I’m a fan of guys with floofy hair). But I was completely disappointed with this page, and also disappointed that the next thing we get is a “sitting around on the couch yakking while Stasia shows she’s out of touch like typical pop stars” scene. So… it’s nice work up to now, kinda eh now, but maybe there will be great things going forward.

Personally I think it’s a little premature to judge a comic as low-brow when there have only been 10 pages.

I’m so awesome.