Page 17: Guy’s Explanation
Monday, April 16th, 2007We’re sorry for not having this page up last week. Thank you for your patience.
Click Stasia’s face to see the inked version of today’s page before it was colored and lettered!
We’re sorry for not having this page up last week. Thank you for your patience.
Click Stasia’s face to see the inked version of today’s page before it was colored and lettered!
April 16th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
-giggles-
So like Parker to be so intent on finding them that she walks right past the room they’re in.
‘Especially when the press finds out that I haven’t had a girlfriend in two years…’
Wow. O.o Strange- I know a ton of women who’d want to date someone like him. [/self included]
‘Did a girl just walk by wearing my pants?’
That has to be THE best line by Stasia yet.
♥
April 16th, 2007 at 5:50 pm
Hey! we finally get some sort of look into why he did it! can’t wait to see more
April 16th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Heh… that sounds so like one of my friends… you say yes because you’re more afraid of what would happen if you said no…
April 16th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Stasia’s expression in the fifth panel = win.
April 16th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Parker walking right past them is hilarious, not to mention Stasia’s response.
I can’t believe Guy hasn’t has a GF in two years, I’d date him!
The art is great as always Eisu!
April 16th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
nice page…i want the next!!!:p
April 16th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
The last two panels were win. Lol!
April 16th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
hm. i knew a really hot, funny, sweet, intelligent, kinda rich guy who hadnt had a girlfriend for two years. But it was because he had some SERIOUS mental issues.
i’m going insane trying to figure out what’s going to happen. maybe i should just stop thinking about it.
April 16th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Wow! so Parker is the new Maureen? o.O
Comic’s getting more and more interesting!
April 16th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
Okay–I kinda got the impression that Parker was a lesbian–but I just brushed it off as her being overly obsessed with wanting to “BE” Stasia.
HOLY shit what a kick in the ass–My gaydar must really need some tuning!!!!!!!!1
April 16th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
*disclaimer: this is from my own point of view. Please disagree if you feel compelled to.
That you’d date him is a sign of good writing on Bobby’s part, not necessarily a good personality, in my opinion.
I’m polite, well mannered, and generally nice to people, but in 18 years only one person has shown romantic interest in me. IMO personality helps sustain a relationship, but looks or circumstance provide the spark. In this case, Eisu and Bobby have covered the latter two, whereas the rest of the story will hopefully focus on the interpersonal relationships rather than more freak chance (hopefully, as resolving problems with ‘magical’ solutions really turns me off to otherwise good stories).
So I don’t think the fact that “you’d date him” is quite enough when rating his attractiveness.
April 16th, 2007 at 6:36 pm
Hey, don’t forget the very important fact that Guy WEARS GLASSES. He’s a NERD! (This is said in a humorous manner.)
And to Andy: Don’t worry, won’t be any magic in the comic!
April 16th, 2007 at 6:39 pm
IMO, Andy, you’re reading too much into it. See this comic like any other piece of media.. the movies, a sitcom, what have you. Guy is a fictional character (illustrated, even), thought up by Bobby and Eisu, just like (insert on-screen hot throb of your choice) in the latest blockbuster hit. Inaccessible, nonexistant and therefore, quite attractive.
Besides, being intimately involved versus simply being friends/acquainted can change your view of someone quite quickly! :3
Although, my opinion is still this: he’s just attractive because he’s not real. Great job, Eisu and Bobby, as always. Why did Parker just pass Stasia’s room without a second glance? O.o
April 16th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
By the way, I like guys with glasses. They’re not nerds, just intelligent looking! xD
April 16th, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Yay, it’s up!
Now, we just need to get Stasia’s reaction when she finds out the sign was really Parker’s. That, I’m sure, will be good for laughs, drama, or both.
Oh, yeah, and a No Pink Ponies update might be nice, too, sometime. ^_^ (Whenever your life and other commitments settle down to the point that you have the time to devote to it.)
April 16th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Just found this today. Like ten minutes ago. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this story already. We’ve barely seen anything of Guy and I already like him (I guess you succeeded in your job of making him instantly loveable for all the girls)–and you know, Parker is already one of my favorite characters. In all of webcomic-dom. (Which is a pretty darn huge place.)
I am desperately hoping this gets made into a movie–lemme tell you, if it does, you already have one fan. (Though if TWC has anything to say about it, you have thousands more. Congrats on making top ten with only 16/17 comic pages! I don’t think it’s ever happened before.)
April 16th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Panel five is the best panel of this comic so far. Everyone’s expressions are perfect in it.
April 16th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
And I love that Stasia and Guy just happen both to be Catholic, so divorce is not a real option for them, although if I ever saw a case for anullment, this would be one. Presumably the two are at least curious enough to try, though?
April 16th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
o.O Does the fact that, even with the Marry Me sign being Parker’s and “my best friend friend just married the love of my life”, I didn’t pick up on Parker’s orientation until now mean that my Gaydar is broken? XD
April 16th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
I wonder if Parker walked by because she heard them talking… I get the impression that she might be kinda’ embarrassed about the awkward situation in general, but then to have Guy blatantly tell Stasia that she’s lesbian? Yeeeaaaah… I would be a bit miffed. :O
April 16th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
Parker is actually just following Janny to a place which we’ll see on the next page! Also, at this point Guy probably doesn’t even realize that Stasia will definitely ever know who his best friend is or meet her or anything, so it’s not like he’s totally outing someone. Also, Parker is openly gay and makes that clear on the official Stasia forums.
April 16th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Bobby, you know that you don’t really have to keep defending the story - especially through spoilers. Your readers will speculate and justify and challenge - it’s OK… somebody else could have responded to Gab with a speculation of his own. Trust your story-telling ability. It’s hooking more and more of us.
April 16th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Not defending, just talking, and minor spoilers are fun.
April 16th, 2007 at 8:56 pm
“Did a girl just walk by wearing my pants?”
Oh my gosh. I’m loving Parker more and more all the time. XD
April 16th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Bobby: Nuuuu, spoilers are baaaaad. ;_; I hate it when someone spoils things, even if it’s the tiniest detail. You could say, “Oh, and when you see the wedding rings, they’re purple” and I’d hate it. I’m just weird like that. XD
April 16th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Well, what I just said barely counts as a spoiler. It basically just says that we’ll see Janny and Parker in the next page. The comic will never even make it clear that Parker was following Janny when we see her on Page 17, though. A lot of my “spoilers” are just things that aren’t even shown in the comics at all, a little more info. I considered including Janny in the script and even had her written in at one point for Panel 5, but decided against it for several reasons, mostly just so we could focus on Parker. In the movie version of this scene you’d see Janny walk past and then Stasia looks over and sees Parker also walk past.
April 16th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Guy’s reasonings = FTW.
Kind of a fratboy mentality there, tho, what with the branded gay thing. *shrug*
No offense to any fratboy-types that might be reading this comic.
As always, love Parker. When more of this gets up, permission to make a fanfilm?
^_^
April 16th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Permission granted!
April 16th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
I want to start a motion to get this entire comic in past, present, and future in its black and white entirety. You’ve got all the manga elements and I think it’d work better on its schedule and as a graphic novel if it was to stick to inks.
I just think it look so much more clean, we can focus on the characters and their expressions more.
April 16th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
I absolutely love the color and think it adds a TON. Million times better in color, in my opinion. I think that about everything, though. I hate black and white.
April 16th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
A shy, sensitive guy with pretty low self esteem suddenly dragged on stage in front of thousands of people… Yeah, I find Guy’s going through with the wedding totally believable. I was wondering how you were gonna pull that off without making him look like a fool, and you did it perfectly. Great stuff
I think I know why he didn’t fancy Stasia, too. I think he probably finds her blatant exhibitionism to be intimidating (Because he’s shy).
I’m prepared to take a wild guess at what Stasia’s exes all had in common: they were far more in love with themselves than they ever were with her. Which is why Stasia wanted to marry someone who would put HER first for a change.
If I’m right, she’s totally sick of shallow, selfish and self-centred people. He’s very much the sort of person who would be deeply unselfish in a relationship - so she accidentally picked the right guy.
Too soon to see why she’s the right girl for him, but I’m looking forward to finding out
April 16th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
Awwwww, Guy’s so adorable…
And total agreement on that line of hers: Did a girl just walk by wearing my pants?” Awesome!!
April 16th, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Hmmm.. who’s #1 on the hot list?? XD
I like how Guy explains his reasons for so long and all Stasia cares for is the girl in HER pants. xP
(And Parker looks furious walking by.. I really can’t wait until she sees Guy)
April 16th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
In the end she will go with the girl. I can not think too much beside that
April 16th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
I feel that a chance that Guy would not have a girlfriend is the fact that Parker is his best friend. She seems like someone that takes his time (ie. doing things like dragging him to a concert he wouldn’t normally go to) and would probably be rather intimidating to any girls interested in him.
That’s my personal theory/idea.
I’m definitely enjoying the comic thus far.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Ah…
Guy’s face: Are you serious?! I was telling you something *important*!
:D:D
April 17th, 2007 at 12:05 am
Here’s something I’m curious to see. Just how pissed off is Parker going to be at Guy to find that he just scooped up the love of her life and married her. Ouch. Best Friends test coming up.
April 17th, 2007 at 12:10 am
VERY MINOR SPOILER: She will physically hurt him.
April 17th, 2007 at 12:38 am
At least his reasoning is sound.
April 17th, 2007 at 3:13 am
I find it kinda of funny how at first you think he didn’t want to embarass her when he says that she said it in front of all those people, but then it is actually because he doesn’t want to be branded as gay ^.^ sorry it amused me.
April 17th, 2007 at 3:22 am
Soooo.. Parker gets physical eh.
Speaking from a purely male perspective, it’s not the why which matters, it’s the where.
Face/neck and stomach are the no-no areas. Not forgiven lightly, no sir.
Groin? Feh. It’s an exagerrated experience. I think it’s worse in the other big 3, than to be hit below the belt..
April 17th, 2007 at 3:31 am
“I find it kinda of funny how at first you think he didn’t want to embarass her when he says that she said it in front of all those people, but then it is actually because he doesn’t want to be branded as gay”
Don’t assume too much! People are not 100% truthful all the time. Perhaps Guy actually did go through with it because he didn’t want to embarrass her and now he’s telling her otherwise because he STILL doesn’t want to embarrass her, even when it’s just between the two of them and not 15,000 people anymore. There can be many reasons for why he did it, though, and we’ll learn more about it later.
April 17th, 2007 at 5:58 am
I’ve read the comic for quite some time now (seeing as it is still relatively young) but as I’ve never commented I’d like to congratulate both Bobby and Eisu on their awesome work. The story is both funny and intriguing. Eisu’s art looks great (as usual).
Moving on now. I’m not as surprised as some of you are that Guy hasn’t had a girlfriend in two years. First of all drawing is the art of simplification (according to an old teacher of mine), so a real-life Guy could have dandruffs or something we don’t see at the moment. Furthermore Scientists have discovered that to a certain extent people find symmetrical faces more attractive. A study some years ago indicated that glasses actually do make unattractive because they are not part of a human face and usually disturb the symmetry. (And Lydia, you associate glasses with something you find attractive and interpret it as an indicator. Not everybody does the same.) And keep in mind not all women find beards attractive. Remember he said he didn’t have a girlfriend, not that he didn’t try to get one.
But there are other possible explanations as well. He might have bad experiences. Guy seems to be just the type to be taken advantage of. You know, buying expensive crap, taking her to triple-overpriced restaurant. Such a thing happens sometimes.
I think we all agree that Guy is somewhat shy and prefers to avoid awkward situations. Therefore he might have problems speaking with girls he’s interested in. In Stasia’s case the most awkward situation is already over and now they have to sort this out together. Kind of like waking up one morning in the arms of someone completely unknown to you. You can’t undo whatever happened but you can try to make the best of it.
As AKaddanotherA has already pointed out Parker might scare away every girl Guy might even have a slight chance with.
We don’t even know for sure if he goes out on a regular basis or how he acts if he goes out. Maybe he keeps away from the crowd and lurks in the shadows. Or he could have boring or strange hobbies. Maybe he drag races in a hilarious bear costume or hosts a tea party for all his stuffed animals on sundays. Maybe he has been sneaking himself into third grade spelling bee contests. Or pageants. We know next to nothing about his life.
Who knows (with the exception of Bobby and Eisu), maybe Guy just waits for the right girl, his true love. . . ok, I admit it’s a bit far-fetched. All I’m saying is there are a few possible reasons out there as to why exactly he hasn’t had a girlfriend.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
April 17th, 2007 at 6:14 am
“Groin? Feh. It’s an exagerrated experience. I think it’s worse in the other big 3, than to be hit below the belt” -pero-
I agree, I got kicked there at a local fair one year and it hurt like a #%&+$ for about five seconds before I was over it.
“Hey, don’t forget the very important fact that Guy WEARS GLASSES. He’s a NERD!” -Bobby Crosby-
I disagree with this, he’s way to scruffy looking to be a nerd. A geek I would buy but not a nerd. I consider my self a semi-geek so I can understand the confusion. My brother only refers to me as a “geek in training” though.
April 17th, 2007 at 8:33 am
Been reading through this for the past month, first time posting though. Gotta say, I like the story and the way things are going so far. Most of what I do is just written word, can’t do an illustration to save my life… Anyway, keep it up, this looks like it has a lot of potential, and I like the idea of giving us background information on details not seen in the comic.
April 17th, 2007 at 9:04 am
Hey! This is getting in print… right? I’d totally buy it.
April 17th, 2007 at 9:23 am
“VERY MINOR SPOILER: She will physically hurt him.”
Mr. Bobby, that spoiler was pretty obvious anyway. XD (I like the spoiler warning, though!)
“Here’s something I’m curious to see. Just how pissed off is Parker going to be at Guy to find that he just scooped up the love of her life and married her. Ouch. Best Friends test coming up.”
I know! I can’t wait to see that!! X3
April 17th, 2007 at 10:30 am
Very small suggestion: I’d swap over ‘I had no choice’ and ‘What else could I do?’ lines with each other on panel 3 (I did say it was a small suggestion). I like panel 4 very much,. the script is good and I like the way Eizu has put in the bony wrist detail; very in-keeping with Guy’s cute geek persona!
I second the compliments for the expressions on the last panel. Guy’s expression is wonderfully caught! But is it just me, or is there something wrong with Guy’s hand? I wish I could be more constructive, but I don’t know why the hand nearest Stasia jars on me! The thumb is in the right place and everything. :S I expect hands are one of the most difficult things to draw…?
Stasia’s personality is getting intriguing. She seems to have a very child-like attention span, ie unthinkingly throws herself 100% into/onto something, but very easily distracted from it.
April 17th, 2007 at 11:25 am
stevenw: it’s cuz you’d think his hand would be at the opposite angle of his other hand, like he’d just come from holding his head in his hands. (which he just did.) : /
and bobby: -love-
much love for the comic/movie script.
and finally eisu: would you bear my internet babies? : 3
April 17th, 2007 at 11:27 am
hand hand hand. >__>
April 17th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
“Bobby Crosby Says:
April 16th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
Permission granted!”
*pulls a Parker and spontaneously needs new pants*
SQUEE!
April 17th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
StevenW, I kinda agree and disgaree about somethings you said…1stly I think the hands of the last panel are fine–they are more exagerated the other panels, but I think that’s all (?)…regarding the‘I had no choice’ vs. ‘What else could I do?’, while first reading through the ‘I had no choice’ seemed a bi awkard & made me get out of the story for a moment(split second)/bit to think it over a bit–which made me more curious to his reasonning, I think it works better that ‘What else could I do?’ for some reason–maybe it just seems too formal in a way (?)…mabye ‘What choice did I have?’ might be better if any changes were to be made, which I don’t think there are any that absolutely have to be made…
April 17th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
About the “I had no choice” thing: It’s dialogue. People don’t speak in a perfect flow and when I was first thinking of Guy’s response to that, that’s how it came out. I’m very reluctant to ever change dialogue to make it sound “better,” because that usually just makes it sound more fake/scripted. I’m often trying to make dialogue sound “worse” actually, but it’s a fine line to walk.
By the way, Eisu says Page 18 should be done on Wednesday, late in the day like Page 17 was for Monday probably, so that’s good news, and I think it’s a really good page. Possibly my favorite so far. Minor spoiler: Seven different people have speaking lines in it!
April 17th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Nice art, Eisu, as usual.
I adore Stasia’s face in that last panel, especially.
April 17th, 2007 at 4:55 pm
If I were Guy, I’d make sure Denny was there before speaking to Parker. She almost kicked a guy’s head off (at least that’s the way it looked) because she had to PEE! Imagine how she could get over the woman she has an unhealthy obsession with…
I’m afraid for Guy’s life. (Just kidding.) But I do hope that Parker is able to get over it before too long, and find a good life-partner for herself (and I can see how she would be a cross between Spike and Honey from Notting Hill). This is getting even better than I thought it would be.
Hopefully Joey (Ana’s manager?) will come into play soon. I look forward to meeting him.
April 17th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Very minor spoilers: Joey has already left 17 messages on Stasia’s phone and another 10 on Janny’s! And believe it or not, we’re gonna see more of the guy Parker kicked in the next page!
And to Angia: Yes, this will be printed! The first 24 pages will be printed in a few weeks, as soon as they’re done, and then the full graphic novel will of course be printed. That 24-page book should be for sale on the site in late May or early June. It has a really good ending, I think.
April 17th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
I still don’t get it. Why is this a big deal? Although this whole situation is amazingly contrived, I don’t believe that they haven’t already gotten divorce papers all set out. It will take an incredible feat of writing to explain why they haven’t exchanged apologies and split. Marriage is no longer particularly binding in this society.
Furthermore, why was there a priest/justice of the peace standing there with a marriage contract? Did she plan this stunt out beforehand? The comic makes it sound like it was a random split-second thing inspired when she saw his sign, but apparently it was premeditated.
I still don’t get it.
April 17th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Hey, that’s kind of funny: I look just like Guy (just with shorter and darker hair) - right down to the stubble, the glasses, the set of the shoulders, the name, I’d go so far as to say most of the personality and the skull structure… Yet I haven’t had a girlfriend in two years. And my best friend that I still see frequently is bi leaning lesbian.
I’ve rarely had women express interest in me - I find women don’t “want” what they think they want. Keep in mind that you’ve been following Guy for 17 pages now - if you’d just met him, say in a bar, you may have a different impression. Pheromones and sheer confidence count for much more than looks or personality. A guy, even an objectively attractive one (if that means anything) will have a lot of difficulty finding dates if he’s shy or passive, since courtship gender roles are still very unequal (at least for heterosexuals?)
Since the character is so similar to me, I find this speculation amusing. Perhaps I’ll see if I can style my hair like that? If the movie is a big hit, maybe I can sue? Buy me out now, Crosby!
April 17th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
and finally eisu: would you bear my internet babies? : 3
I’m a guy, I can’t bear babies
April 17th, 2007 at 10:07 pm
Psh to Eisu.
Internet babies.
Not the same.
♥
I promised to bear the [interweb] spawn of one of my ‘minions’ who is just as female as I.
^^
Joey sounds spazzy. Spazzy’s good. xDDD
Then again, I’d spaz too. ._.
April 17th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
“It will take an incredible feat of writing to explain why they haven’t exchanged apologies and split.”
It’s very simple actually, as you’ll see, and the legality of the marriage won’t even be an issue, for a good reason, which you’ll also see. Believe me, there won’t be any “errors” or mistakes like that in this story.
“Furthermore, why was there a priest/justice of the peace standing there with a marriage contract?”
No one has said that there was a marriage contract. You assume too much. I’ve gone over this many times in the comments. Stasia said she signed a lot of things and that she THINKS one of them was a marriage license, but she was in a total daze and talking nonsense.
“Did she plan this stunt out beforehand? The comic makes it sound like it was a random split-second thing inspired when she saw his sign, but apparently it was premeditated.”
Totally random.
April 17th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
“Minor spoiler: Seven different people have speaking lines in it!”
Wow. ._. Points to Eisu if he can get all seven of them in there! That’s gonna be a crowded page.
Mm, and Eisu, about the babies thing (XD)…
I got a bunch of my friends “pregnant” by poking their shoulders with a straw at school one day. Two were female and two were male. Pretend babies don’t need logic. XD
April 17th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Only six of the seven people are seen!
April 17th, 2007 at 11:58 pm
Mm, and Eisu, about the babies thing (XD)…
I got a bunch of my friends “pregnant” by poking their shoulders with a straw at school one day. Two were female and two were male. Pretend babies don’t need logic. XD
Why is people explaining this to me? they’re internet babies, like you guys said so, I’m not dumb to think that it’s possible to bear them and I know they’re a joke, I’m, as how you young uns say, “playing along”…
April 18th, 2007 at 12:14 am
LOL. Reading these posts makes writing Page 19 even more fun.
April 18th, 2007 at 7:15 am
Talking about babies = making writing Page 19 fun….
O.O
April 18th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Humm, looking good…Guy’s reasoning is totally believable…though how did the comments devolve into a discussion of the feasibility of hatching internet young? X___________x
I can’t see any problems with the story…Stasia said a few pages back that she signed lots of things and so wasn’t sure and also lamented the apparently unforseen presence of the priest, *shrugs*, works for me.
I reckon it’ll turn out they’re not legally married, but through a series of often comedic twists, adventures and character development, they’ll fall in love properly and really marry at the end. ^^
April 18th, 2007 at 8:07 am
… ‘Young uns’? Oh, come on, now. You don’t get to say that until you’re 60 and have gone through a war. That way the ‘young un’ rants are fun to igno- er, listen to.
=’D
April 18th, 2007 at 11:15 am
I usually don’t like romantic comics. But this one has managed to keep my interest. Props to it
P.S. Today is the Day of Silence. Support Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Trangender Rights!!!!
April 18th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Heh, methinks page 19 will have something to do with Janny’s pregnancy.
April 18th, 2007 at 1:02 pm
Poor Guy, he must be so stressed out. I hope they can work things out!
April 18th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
♥’s to Zyb.
^.~
April 18th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
I don’t think you’re gay, Guy!!!! I LOVE YOU! I would marry him, he’s so cute! ^.^
April 19th, 2007 at 11:47 am
I’m very reluctant to ever change dialogue to make it sound “better,” because that usually just makes it sound more fake/scripted. I’m often trying to make dialogue sound “worse” actually, but it’s a fine line to walk.
Well, that kind of hamstrings making any contructive criticism towards your script, but I did get your point I think.
April 19th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
“Well, that kind of hamstrings making any contructive criticism towards your script . . .”
It only refers to dialogue, which is a small part of the script, and I said I want the dialogue to sound real instead of fake/scripted, so if anything sounds fake/scripted, that could certainly be criticized. Your criticism was that the line didn’t flow well and could have sounded better in a different way, but it’s my opinion that that would would have made it sound too scripted.
August 28th, 2007 at 5:16 am
lol Janny sounds like she’s been on quite a few of these crazy adventures before
Dramatically pointing FTW
August 29th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
I just found this comic today, and I thought it was really good.
Then I found out that she’s a lesbian.
I can safely say I will never be returning to this page.
That’s disgusting.
June 27th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
And this is where ignorance rears its ugly head…
Oh, wait, it has before…
Just this time its in reference to a lesbian character…
“OH NOES!!!! I LIKED A LESBIAN CHARACTER!!!! I BETTER SAY I HATE IT SO AS TO PRESERVE MY MAN/WOMAN-HOOD!!!”